I lost a good friend this week. The grief is so huge it feels as though my heart is dragging down into the ground. I miss her and her lightness, her comic genius, her beautiful smile. And her ‘unbaking’. I really miss her ‘unbaking’.
We were the founding and only members of the ‘Hot Stay At Home Mumma’s Who Also Kick Ass in Business’ club, HSAHMWAKAIB if you will. I must credit my friend for the catchy acronym.
Born out of ‘what if’ conversations our little club begat our businesses too. It was from one of our convos that I first floated the business idea that would eventually become Tonic & Cloth. AND it was during one of these conversations that she excitedly showed me a glimpse of what would become her Organic Coconut Butter business which she hoped would in turn become the foundation of a healthy yet delicious eating empire.
She’d start with Organic Coconut Butter, then a Café packed with raw vegan sweet delights, and my most favourite of her ideas the TTOTM (Pronoun: Totem) Packs. Delicious raw goodness delivered to your door at “That Time of The Month” – just as your cravings hit. A beautiful life affirming idea that so floated the boat of my beautiful life affirming friend.
Though we did intend to have many a club meeting to discuss important business type things. Of course, life got in the way - and cancer got in the way. Cancer and all its therapies are so bloody time consuming. A blinkin’ full time job, with way too much overtime, rubbish pay and zero benefits.
Anyway – indulge me if you will with my little list of what I learnt from my beautiful friend
Whenever I asked this gorgeous lady if she’d like to do ‘this and that’ she would say ‘If it’s in the future I’m saying yes to it!’. That lightness and positivity drew people to her and, I’m sure, made her life a happy place to be.
She always turned up, mostly late bless her cotton socks, but she always got there in the end, and because she did I have a tonne of brilliant ‘laugh so hard I wet my pants’ memories of her that are making this week just a little bit easier.
Take time for yourself!
My friend would prioritise ‘self care’ time. And I tell ya I’ve been signing up to this idea since she shared it with me. What a precious thing to value ourselves and our bodies enough to carve out time for them and nourish them.
Enjoy good food!
Oooo Baby this girl could ‘unbake’ – And eat! Somehow I must get my hands on her incredible raw recipe creations that honoured ones taste buds as well as one’s body– genius!
I’ve also learnt a little something about myself over the past weeks and days. Sewing for me is a therapeutic ‘thang’. It nourishes my soul.
As the needle passes through the fabric it pulls from me splinters of grief, leaving my heart just a little lighter. Each stitch created reminds me that good, beautiful, big things can be created from the almost visible.
The gentle rhythm of creating restores cadence to my heartbeat. First draw, now cut, then pin, now stitch, press and check. Now breathe.
It’s beautiful, medicinal, healing. It’s a way through the un-signposted byways of grief.
It is a blessing to get lost in a ’thang’. We all have our own thang and we must practice it - so that we can tend to our souls at wretched times such as these. When we are reminded of the fragility and preciousness of life and when we lose beloved members of our little clubs.
Thanks for listening …..